Can my baby catch “y’all”?: Double Deuce with Brackettville Bob

There are two kinds of cops in Texas. Those who pass you because you’re not keeping up with the flow of traffic at 80 MPH, and then, there’s Brackettville Bob. Bob is a friendly enough guy – average stature, probably in his early sixties, speaks with a Southwest Texas twang and has been patrolling his county long enough to gain a reputation. Well today, Bob had John in his sights.

Granted, for those of you who know John, he is a bit rough around the edges. He wears his hair kind of tattered and is the first to mouth off; perhaps that’s what lured Bob in as John accelerated to 52 MPH, 20 feet shy of the 55MPH sign. (Can you believe it?) I tell you, it takes a seasoned eye to catch someone going that fast with the average radar and Bob was on his game. Fortunately, Bob’s lights were more ferocious than his bite and he kindly forgave our sins and let us go with a gentle warning.

But it doesn’t end there. Border Patrol are generally no one to be shy of – assuming you’re a citizen – yet in this little Texas town, the Border Patrol and the sheriff’s department work together. (In such a sprawling metropolitan area the various enforcement agencies have to ban together to keep up.) So after seeing Bob send a green and white after someone else while we were talking, it’s not surprising John may have been a little accelerant shy when a border patrol car parked on the side of the road pulled out behind him no more than 10 minutes up the road from Bob. The officer proceeded to tail us for nearly 5 minutes before, oh yes, pulling us over.

The stop started out fairly routine. He approached the car and introduced himself as Border Patrol (in case we hadn’t noticed). But then he saw John’s U.S. government ID (which was coincidentally sitting on his lap). Suddenly the officer, who was clearly greener than the stripe on his car, looked flustered, one might even say embarrassed, and practically clambered back to his car. Not sure what it was all about, (perhaps Mikayla looked suspicious?) but it did set the record for the most times being pulled over in a 15 minute timeframe.

Good news is, aside for those 10 miles and 15 minutes, the rest of our day went law enforcement free. We even managed to enjoy a nice hike in Kickapoo State Park, eat ice cream cones and get by, that’s right, Brackettville Bob on our way back home.